War On The Whale

 willful ignorance
history repeating
head in the sand
the leaders are cheating

from the left and right
the view is the same
perception is truth
for the man to game

rich and poor
black and white
the blue and the red
prepare and fight

swinging the sword
but dismissing the pen

it’s already been fought
and assessed by them

but we ignore the words
and twist the tale
so that we can continue
to fight the whale.

The Cleansing of Color

the choppers blades

unaware

the cleansing of color

twist in the wind

like the means of unfit mothers

champions

of unfounded snare

who's revolution

of her weighted intent

should be held to account

when justness is spent

the judges, juries

and executioners trail

hovering the bluster

as appellants flail

<------------->

the choppers blades

unaware

the cleansing of color....

Life is Short. Don't Hold Your Breath.

Life seems short. Except when you are holding your breath. It is, until it’s not. Or it is unless it’s not. These are the visceral binary positions I dream up when I am trying to start a blog post. I haven’t written a post in several years now. A failed experiment; daily journaling. My step-father has been journaling daily for as long as I can remember. When we were kids, I remember he would sit in his chair with one of those old timey arm key typewriters on his lap and type a letter to his father. Curtis and his father had a great rapport on paper. Perhaps Wayne inspired Curtis to write, even if only for his own eyes.

I’m staying on topic, until I’m not. Back to my binary assertion. Life is short unless you’re holding your breath. I’m fifty-four years old as I type this, and I have just recently been diagnosed with Prostate Cancer. I never thought in a million years, that I would ever make such a statement. I wasn’t holding my breath.

My wife is a Nurse Practitioner, and she keeps our family on the right track staying current with our family practice doc., keeping up with our blood tests, or just doing the right thing generally. I have been on a routine of getting the basics done with blood work, including the test which measures your Prostate Specific Antigen (PSA). Over the past year, my PSA levels have risen. The most recent test brought back the highest level thus far, which was a 3.9. When you look at the age specific charts, that number does not exactly incite panic. It’s a tad high, but not through the roof by any stretch of the imagination. So, when my family doc called and said she wanted to refer me to a specialist, I was skeptical, but I went along with it. Then when the Urologist called and informed me that they have scheduled me for a Prostate Biopsy, I responded with, “Woah. Slow down Doc!” At the time I was still not convinced that this was necessary.

I called the Urology clinic back and told the receptionist that I would like to talk to the Doc before we do this. She agreed and switched my date from a biopsy to a consult. I then thought I would go to the lab and volunteer a new PSA test to show them that this is not Cancer. Well, I thought I would show them. When I went to the lab, and volunteered my blood to prove my point, the 3.9 came back.

Damn!! So much for that idea.

I took the lab to the consult with the doc. He performed a Prostate exam, and then reported, “I felt a nodule on the left side of your prostate.” To which I replied, “Oh alright already. You can do the biopsy.”

The time period from consult to biopsy was a couple weeks. During that time, I rationalized to my wife, my daughter and her family, and to myself, that this is not going to turn out to be Cancer. Nodules appear in the body all the time, right? Mary’s Mammograms have shown nodules that were benign. Mine should be too, right? Ok, I know. This form of inductive reasoning leads me down the wrong rabbit hole.

When the biopsy date arrived, I went in thinking this was going to be an enlarged Prostate, or some other problem that most men encounter as they get older. I now know that Prostate Cancer is among the many very common problems that men experience into their 50s and beyond. The biopsy, as was stated in the literature, was not a painful experience. As stated in the brochure, the needle felt like a slight snap of a rubber band on your skin. The doc had me positioned on my side, facing away from him. He had a monitor that showed the sonogram image, and they had a second monitor showing the sonogram so that I could see as well. As he was sticking me with those needles, I could tell he could see something. It finally sunk in at that point. I am going to hear him tell me I have Cancer. As it turned out, the news came in the form of a phone call from the clinic’s office staff.

The goal of that phone call was threefold. First to break the unfortunate news. Second to schedule a CT Scan so that they could look and see if the Cancer had spread. Lastly to schedule a follow up with the doc.

The time frame from phone call to doc visit was less than a week. Some men might take that time to freak out. I just remember thinking, “Yay! Another day off.” Please don’t take that to mean that I am absolutely flippant about my life, the lives of my loved ones, or just about life in general. I have been doing a lot of reading since this whole thing started, and based on that reading, I concluded that while this situation is not to be taken lightly, we have caught this thing rather early, and my prognosis will be in high favor as we move through it. Also, I have come to be at peace with my mortality. I don’t want to go anywhere for a long time, but by the same token, I don’t believe fear will be my response when I find myself at the edge of that cliff. I could be wrong. I’m just guessing because I have never been there. Or I have been there but didn’t realize I was there and didn’t have time to freak out.

The follow up visit was a bit of a surprise for me. Mary was with me, and I think she noticed the “deer in the headlights” look on my face. I thought the doc was going to say something like, “Well Mark, you have Cancer, but we can just hook you up with some of that radiation, and things will be all better.” That is NOT what we heard. Instead, the doc told me that among the risk levels, mine was intermediate. He told me removing the Prostate was the best option. I asked about the radiation treatment, and he said while it's an option, implementing it would limit options in the future. Scar tissue would complicate surgery options if the radiation didn’t get it all. Time to heal was also the reason the prostatectomy would have to be scheduled no less than six weeks after the biopsy.

So, here I am. Waiting for the sixth week post biopsy. Still not freaking out. But I am a bit anxious about the surgery. Lots of questions are popping up in my mind. Will they find cancer outside of the prostate? Will they have to compromise sexual function in order to remove Cancer cells in that area? Will they compromise sexual function by accident? Will they leave the hemostats in my abdomen?

The official name for the procedure is Robotic Radical Prostatectomy. The doctor is sort of like a kid at the arcade. He sits in front of a high res screen and controls the robot with joysticks and buttons and such. The brochure states that the robot is called “De Vinci” after the famous artist who was obsessed with the human form. The De Vinci apparently produces much better post-op surgery results than a surgeon and his manual tools. De Vinci doesn’t have coffee shakes and makes incisions more precisely. Patients experience less blood loss, less post-op pain, and faster healing times. This is encouraging.

That’s my story so far, and I am sticking to it. I have about three or so more weeks before the surgery. Once I get through it and am able to sit on my butt for a few minutes, I will write a new post with all of the new things I have learned.

Just remember. Life is short, so don’t hold your breath.

Tightened My Artist Statement

I have tightened up my artist statement. Here is how it reads now.

I am not a professional artist, though, I have sold a few art works. As I write this bio, I am 20 years in the business of Information Technology. I am currently running an IT shop for County Government. My first passion in visual expression came in the form of still photography. As a teenager, I was very curious with the camera. As a young adult, I enlisted in the United States Navy, and worked as a Photographer's Mate. My tenure in the Navy was a life changing experience. I transitioned very well to digital photography, and not long after that, I began focusing my attention on oil paint. I took a class at the local community college, and had a great experience with the painting instructor. She taught me how to think about art, how to talk about art, and how to allow myself to "let go" of the rules, and just let the painting happen organically. My favorite photographers are Edward Weston, and Sebastiao Selgado. My favorite painters are Joan Mitchell, Karel Appel, and so many more. Too many to name. When I am out and about with the camera, I am enjoying the solitude of the landscapes I am photographing. I spent just a few years tinkering with digital art, and was able to get one of my digital art images accepted into a national juried exhibition in 2011. When I am painting, I am witnessing a battle between my conscious mind and my sub-conscious. The result so far - some non-objective works, that focus on action, color, shape, line, and texture. On the other side lies a painter that works very conceptually.

Artist Statement

I think you call it an Artist Statement. Anyway, I wrote one, not really following the rules. I just did it my way. Thanks Blue Eyes :)

I am beginning to deepen my profile on the Saatchi Art site, in an effort to present my work to those who are a little more inclined to purchase. Here is the statement I submitted to the Saatchi site.

--------------

I am not a professional artist, though, I have sold a few art works. As I write this bio, I am 20 years in the business of Information Technology. Some years in the hospital environment, a few years in the wireless Internet Service industry, and currently running an IT shop for County Government.

My first passion in visual expression came in the form of still photography. As a teenager, I was very curious with the camera. As a young adult, I enlisted in the United States Navy, and worked as a Photographer's Mate. My tenure in the Navy was a life changing experience. I transitioned very well to the digital photography world, and not long after that, I began focusing my attention on oil paint.

I took a class at the local community college, and had a great experience with the painting instructor. She taught me how to think about art, how to talk about art, and how to allow myself to "let go" of the rules, and just let the painting happen organically. My favorite photographers are Edward Weston, and Sebastiao Selgado. My favorite painters are Joan Mitchell, Karel Appel, and so many more. Too many to name.

When I am out and about with the camera, I am enjoying the solitude of the landscapes I am photographing. I spent just a few years tinkering with digital art, and may return to it, but as I write this, I am very deep into the genre of black and white landscape still photographs. When I am painting, I am witnessing a battle between my inner being, and my outer being. Rather, my conscious mind versus my sub-conscious mind. The result so far - some non-objective works, that focus on action, color, shape, line, and texture. On the other side of the inner battle lies a painter that works very conceptually. The painting titled, One Zero, is currently my most significant example of the conceptual style. 

Stream On Youtube

Hey all ... just a quick note. I am continuing my blog with videos on Youtube. At first, I started pasting links to the entries there, but I don't think I'm going to continue that. Rather, I just will link you to my channel over there. Occasionally, I may still write some things here, but most of my updates are likely going to appear on my Youtube channel. Please feel free to surf the links, and let me know what you think. Hit the like, subscribe, favorite, and all that other happy horse sheeet. LOL ... Thanks

http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCENcwWTQHuM1MtatJ7DHDRA?feature=guide

Mark Rohlf's Art Collection

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QIr7V3XivKk

My First Video Blog Entry :)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W8yRAn960zc

Final Paintings From 2012

Here are the last two paintings from my 2012 work. Thanks thanks and more thanks to Susan Copas for teaching me how to paint. Not just how to paint, but also how to talk about my paintings. How to think about my paintings, and how to let go of what you would typically think of as a mistake in a painting. The first image is of the painting titled "Intent". The title came as a collaboration with my friends on Facebook. I wasn't sure at first, so I put it out there for suggestions. Funny because the final title was suggested by me. However, it did help to hear suggestions from others. When I first started painting it, I thought it was going to be an epic fail, but as it turns out, it's one of my favorites. The second image you see, is a painting titled "Event Horizon - Poppy And Friends Prepare For Departure". Or just Even Horizon :). This was my first attempt with a large canvas. 5' X 3' ... actually not exactly five by three ... but pretty close. Susan showed me how to build the frame using 1X2 boards from the local lumber yard, and a few scrap corners of ply board in the corners for support. I love working in the larger size canvases. Every semester, the art students at the college exhibit their work, and vote on a people's choice. Event Horizon was chosen in it's category.

I think this is a pretty good place for me, with regard to where I am as a creator of visual expressions. I am so grateful to Susan for what I learned during her classes. But now I am ready to begin working on my own. I have easels set up in my homes both in Liberal, as well as in Hays, and I am beginning to evolve in the imagery I am wanting to create on the canvas. I am also going to begin experimenting with the acrylic medium. Stay tuned, and thanks for taking the time to look at my expressions. I wish I could show you them in person, because the screen display of these works do absolutely no justice at all to the actual work. Maybe I need to learn how to better photograph them. Maybe with more of a side lit orientation to accent the textures.

Opposite Charlie - 2012

Here is a closer look at Opposite Charlie. Charlie didn't start out as a figurative representation. Rather, it started out as an exercise in the utilization of opposing curves. Thus the name. I ran into some lines that were overlapping in ways I didn't think would work aesthetically, so I turned them into a solid shape, which then became what appears to be Charlie's hair do. I want to continue exploring the possibilities with the opposing curves. I think there is a lot of potential there, even if they don't end up the way Charlie did. When Charlie comes home, I want him to hang next to Greg's Velvet Elvis. I think the two will hit it off famously. :)

Forest For The Trees - With Artist

Here is a shot of the beautiful print and mount of the Forest For The Trees image. I absolutely love the aluminum frame. Notice how it looks like it's floating on the wall. Next year, I plan to print the 2nd FFTT image. It will be the same dimension, except it will be in a landscape orientation. The two images together will make a nice presentation on the wall of my office area in the basement of the Seward County Administration Building.

Playful Poodle - 2012

When I was young, Mom had me in piano lessons. I hated it, because I was a pretty typical kid. I didn't want to play the piano. I wanted to go outside and ride my bike. I'm sure it was hard for mom, because she had to constantly get after me to practice the recommended amount of time. Needless to say, my piano playing career didn't last very long. However I did last long enough to play in one recital. I had 2 songs that I played. To this day, I remember, not only the name of the first song, but I can still play it from start to finish. The name of the song was Playful Poodle. As I was photographing this painting today, I had an idea that I would immortalize that song by giving this painting the same name.

Synthetic Storm III - The Elephant In The Room - 2012

I should have posted this one first, because I started this one first. This is the 3rd, and most likely, the last in the series of Synthetic Storm images.

The Protagonist - 2012

This painting was a very spontaneous creation. I began by tracing my hand in the upper left portion of the canvas. I then just built the design from there. Very enjoyable experience. Spontaneous creations are definitely a positive experience. I have received some pretty positive feedback on this one.

Dora My Dora - 2012

This painting was inspired by Pablo's portrait of Dora Maar. At first, I had some trouble with this image. Not the figure, but the room in the background. So I did some adjustments, and felt pretty good with the fix.

Dancing In The Moonlight

This painting created itself. It is early August, and I am really anxious to start the Fall semester. I am excited to begin a new set of paintings. I am wanting to explore the non-representational abstract style.

This one is titled Dancing In The Moonlight - 2012

Fear Nymph

Here is my first effort for the summer 2012. I started with a plan to NOT plan the design, but rather to let the design create itself. I planned to do this by starting with a random mark on the canvas, and then just kind of build it out from there. As I finished the underpainting, I was not very confident that anything would come of this effort. However, I am pleasantly surprised to be rather happy with the finished painting.

Print 2/2

Here is a capture of print 2/2 of Turbines And Fog - 2010. This image will never be printed again in this size. 18 1/2 X 36. However, if you would like a print, I would be willing to start a new series, and round the measurements up to 20 X 40. I would be willing to print 25 of those. These prints will be framed differently however, but I think you will really enjoy them. I am going to print and frame them using a printing company out of Greeley, Colorado. They have a cool framing process, using what they call Alumiplaq. The name describes the materials. The frame is made entirely of aluminum, and there is no glass. The print is adhered to the aluminum, and then coated with a varnish, to protect the art.

When I am dead and gone, and I am considered an internationally renowned artist, these prints will be worth a billion, kagillion, schmedulakachilion .... dollars (evil grin). So be sure and get them while they last. Again, there will only be 25 of them. :)

Zag

This is the last painting from the Spring 2012 semester at Seward County Community College with Susan Copas. Zag is the alter ego that helps me define the vision behind my art.

Playful Partisans

It's an election year, so I thought I would paint something in honor of our great American political process.

Synthetic Storm II - Playful Partisans